Keeping Your Bike Mint: The No-Nonsense Guide to Motorcycle Detailing

Never, ever wash a hot bike. You'll warp brake discs or crack a manifold. Wait at least an hour after riding. If you can't touch the engine case comfortably, don't start.

Chuck a plastic bag over your air intake or use an exhaust bung. Water in the cylinder is a quick way to kill a weekend. If you've got a fancy aftermarket pod filter, cover it up.

Take off your tank bag, GPS, or any soft luggage. It's much easier to clean the bike when it's 'naked'.

Check for oil leaks or loose bolts while it's dry. Once it's wet and soapy, you'll miss these details.

If the front is covered in dried guts, lay some wet paper towels over the headlight and screen for 10 minutes. It softens them up so they slide off later.

Start here because they're the filthiest. Use a dedicated wheel cleaner. If you've got raw aluminium rims, be careful with acid-based cleaners, they'll stain them instantly. Scrub the rubber to get rid of old tyre shine and road grime.

Spray your chain cleaner on and let it dwell. Use a three-sided chain brush (they're cheap at any bike shop). Get all that old, gritty paste off. Rinse gently, no high pressure here!

If you've got a foam cannon, use it. It lifts the dust and grit off the paint so you don't scratch it when you use a mitt. Let it sit for 5 minutes in the shade.

Use your two-bucket method. Start from the top (mirrors, screen, tank) and work down. Use almost no pressure; let the mitt do the work.

Using your soft brushes and a bit of soapy water, get into the cooling fins and around the spark plugs. This is where the patience pays off.

Use a low-pressure hose. Avoid pointing the stream directly at wheel bearings, the chain, or the dashboard. You want a gentle flood, not a jet.

Run your hand over the tank. Feel grit? Use a clay bar with plenty of lubricant. This gets rid of the 'industrial fallout' and sap that a wash won't touch.

Use a leaf blower or a dedicated car dryer. This is non-negotiable for bikes. You've gotta get the water out of the switchgear and the radiator core or it'll spot and corrode.

If you've got swirls from your knees rubbing the tank, use a fine polish and a microfibre applicator. Do this by hand; machines are often too big for bike curves.

Apply your sealant or wax. In the Aussie sun, I prefer a ceramic-based spray sealant like Gtechniq C2V3. It handles the UV way better than a traditional carnauba wax which melts at 60 degrees.

Polish your exhaust (if it's not matte black) and any chrome bits. If you've got bluing on the headers, you can use a specific 'anti-blue' polish, but honestly, I reckon the blue look shows you actually ride the thing.

Use a UV-protectant on the black plastics. Avoid anything greasy, you don't want it slicking up your seat or pegs.

Clean the mirrors and the windscreen with a dedicated glass cleaner. If the screen is plastic, use a plastic-safe cleaner like Plexus to avoid 'crazing' the surface.

Now that the chain is clean and dry, apply your lube to the inside of the chain while spinning the wheel. Do this last so the lube has time to 'set' before you ride, otherwise it'll flick all over your freshly cleaned wheel.